A Mumsnet user recently posted the following list of questions on the parental forum.
Daughter reports that the new teacher has asked to be referred to as she/her and Ms Jones. They are ‘obviously male’. Daughter isn’t happy about the power imbalance of potential behaviour points and detentions for non compliance.
What does that actually mean, ‘obviously male’? Someone who wants to be called Ms is unlikely to have a full beard and moustache. So maybe they are not averagely feminine? Not every woman is. Features vary. Or their voice is deeper than expected? Not all women have a high pitched voice, female voices can be quite deep or hoarse.
This would have been the perfect time for the mother to talk to her daughter about equality and inclusivity, about looking at the person inside and not just the outward appearance, explaining that no two people are the same and some are further away from what the media taught us to see as normal or desirable than others, but every person has their intrinsic value and should be treated with respect and dignity. That there is much more to a person’s gender than just body parts, and so much more to a person than just their gender.
The post continues:
I’ve got no idea how to advise daughter how to handle this but obviously know from reading here that using this language is a safeguarding problem. Ms Jones should follow the same rules as all the other male teachers. If everyone must use this language, then it looks like the school is unable to tolerate GC (Gender Critical) beliefs.
Suggesting that daughter respectfully avoids pronouns doesn’t seem workable as using the teacher’s name will include “Miss”….
Is there a gender neutral way of referring to a teacher like “Professor”?!
What do I advise daughter so she can work within her GC beliefs? And what should I write to the school to say about this?
The post has since received 1,000 replies, many of which further dehumanise the identity of the female teacher.
Hate speech galore
A large number of replies disparage the teacher because she’s trans. Many refer to the “enforcing of pronouns” as something being pushed on their children by the “the cult of gender identity”. One user goes as far to call it “coercive” and “forcing beliefs on other people” while another says “I wouldn’t use a name to address them at all – ‘excuse me’ will suffice.”
The female teacher being discussed is frequently misgendered in the thread. People call her ‘a male teacher’ ,’Mr’ and ‘TIM [Trans Identified Male].’
Going to great lengths to avoid calling her Ms
Many alternatives to calling the teacher ‘Ms’ were suggested. These range from calling her “Jonesy” to “sir”.
One user mocked:
If this male teacher demands to be referred to as ‘her majesty’ because he identifies as a queen, would pupils be required to use that form of address out of respect?
He is not the Queen so pupils should not be forced to use ‘her majesty’. He is not a woman so pupils should not be forced to use ‘Miss’.
But of course being a trans person does not say anything about sexual preference, so calling a trans woman ‘a queen’ is not illogical and prejudicial.
Voice of compassion
Among the hateful comments there are a few that show respect and compassion for the teacher.
She calls them Ms Jones. It’s about respect, not anything else.
When my sister, who is a teacher, got married, she shared the news with her pupils and explained that although she was now Mrs X, professionally she wanted to stay as Miss Y. Everyone did it out of respect. You can respect someone while holding different beliefs to them.
Maybe explain to her that pronouns aren’t a belief system but rather a social convention that signals respect for other people’s dignity as in their right to choose, regardless if you agree with them or not.
“A breeding ground for transphobic voices”
Despite the odd reply asking to respect the teachers identity, the fast majority of replies were disparaging about them, because she wants to be referred to as Ms. This transphobic hate speech has become commonplace on the platform in recent years. The London-based internet forum was created in 2000 by Justine Roberts for discussion among people with child- or teen-aged offspring.
What was once simply a site for genuine discourse on parenting has now become a breeding ground for hateful opinions and ideas. As an article in Huck Mag puts it:
Mumsnet has become a breeding ground for transphobic voices; a space where they can laugh about sabotaging an NHS survey aimed at LGBTQ+ users and scorn trans participation in sport, or ponder that trans rights are a millennial issue.
This is clearly evident in the thread where the identity of a teacher is deconstructed and scrutinised to the point of dehumanisation.
