In 2023, I helped save a life. Yes, me! Am I a superhero? No, I’m just a regular woman. Or am I? According to the UK Supreme Court – I’m a man. If you believe the gender critical, I’m a predatory man. Why? Because I’m a trans woman. Does it matter? No! I can do good, whatever you think you should class me as.
Every day the mainstream media tells you that I am to be feared, to be reviled and excluded from society. So often people fail to look beyond the headlines and see the human beings that they try to ridicule and destroy. My story is just one of many stories about trans people just living their lives and doing the best they can.
A normal day became a nightmare
On a day like any other day my partner Heather suddenly developed a fever of 42C. You could feel the heat radiating off her body from a foot away. My heart immediately raced with terror and panic – was it sepsis?
I recognised the deadly symptoms that took the life of my wonderful late sister. She was incredibly listless and barely aware of her surroundings. My voice was shaking as I spoke to a doctor on the phone about her condition. Fortunately Heather’s other partner Jane (we are polyamorous) was around to drive us to hospital.
When we got to the hospital, they recorded her resting pulse as 140bmp and her oxygen at 94%. For reference, healthy readings are around 70-80bmp and oxygen 96-99%. She was close to critical.
We were terrified
Both me and Jane were terrified. Heather, thankfully doesn’t remember much due to the very high fever that made her delirious and not fully conscious.
It was the worst night of my life. 19 hrs in hospital reduced me to floods of tears. Jane and I, completely exhausted and running on empty, finally went home to get some rest. I could not sleep. Anxiety was surging through my body. It felt like I was drowning. A cold sweat streaming down my back.
When I returned to the hospital a few hours later, Heather was on IV antibiotics. She was conscious but looked very weak and frail. I stayed with her the rest of the day. I was too afraid to leave her side. Jane and Tabby (another partner to both me and Heather) joined us. We did all we could to keep our spirits up. We played card games and shared humorous stories. Doing all we could to distract us all from the deeply worrying situation before our eyes.
Discharged after five days
I practically hit the ceiling with joy when she got discharged from hospital 5 days later. I have never felt such overwhelming relief. I cried for 30 minutes. A river of emotion flowed from me.
I was not prepared to lose a woman I love with all my heart. With sepsis time is everything.
If she had not gone into hospital that evening, I very much doubt she would still be with me today.
Sepsis mortality rates are high. They range from 15 to 56% with 15% of sepsis survivors dying within a year of leaving hospital.
All in all an extremely serious and terrifying disease.
But we still feel the after effects
In the weeks that followed I was not myself. I fell into deep depression. The overwhelming terror left me traumatised. Heather is a beautiful soul and I’m so very lucky to have her in my life. I thank my late sister (who sadly died of sepsis, aged 20) for giving me the knowledge and experience to save Heather’s life. There’s not a day that passes when I don’t wish I knew what I know now and am able to go back in time to save my sister.
Heather has been left chronically ill. I do all I can to support her each and every day. She’s been waiting over 2 years now on getting a blocked kidney removed (the condition that led to sepsis) on the NHS. I can’t wait for the day that her broken kidney gets binned. It has caused Heather nothing but agony, it will definitely be a moment of celebration. For now Heather is unable to go swimming and gets exhausted walking short distances.
So there you have it. A regular woman just doing her best in an emergency to save the life of a loved one. I’m not a monster. I’m not a predator. I’m just a woman who cares. So the next time a transphobe tries to scare you, remember trans people are just that – people.
If you are worried about Sepsis please contact The UK Sepsis Trust here.
