Government ministers have been using the term ‘gender-questioning’ to refer to trans children. This appears to be a deliberate choice by the present and previous government, and has done more to reduce the right to self determination for trans children than any other government.
Changing the terminology around trans children
As a trans academic whose research specialism is in trans children and young people, I have been studying the government’s imposition of what seems to be conversion therapy targeting this group, especially by the Departments of Health and Education. I have concluded that, when looked at all together, the deployment of ‘gender questioning’ can be regarded as part of a package of measures that I am calling wraparound conversion therapy. This is something designed to be ubiquitous and to make every governmental agency automatically de-affirm trans children’s genders.
As most readers will know, conversion therapy is a dangerous and unscientific practice involving forms of psychological, emotional (and sometimes physical) harm recognised as torture and banned in many countries. It is used to try and make someone straight or cisgender (i.e. ‘not trans’). Its stated claim is to recondition individuals into thinking they are straight or cis, even though there is plenty of evidence that it does not do this. All it does is produce traumatised and suicidal victims. Indeed conversion therapy is by many regarded as a form of mental, psychological and sometimes even physical violence, these days this horrific practice is most commonly deployed against trans children. Previous Governments as well as the present government had promised to ban conversion therapy, but such a ban has not happened yet. It is often given new names like ‘reparative therapy’ or ‘gender exploratory therapy’.
‘Gender-questioning’ implies uncertainty
The phrase ‘gender-questioning’ helps facilitate this because it implies that these children are unsure if they are trans or cis, whereas most will only speak out when they feel sure they are trans and feel safe to talk about it. It seems to imply that trans children somehow decide, supposedly on a whim, that they are trans, and then come out immediately. However my own peer-reviewed research, published in 2020, shows that this could not be further from the truth. By the time a trans child comes out to any adult, whether a doctor, teacher, parent or whoever they are almost always a very long way past questioning their genders, usually by many years. What is significant about my research is that much of it was replicated by another study published the following year, (these days replication is extremely rare even in physical sciences, and almost unknown in the social sciences). My conclusions were also supported by a similar study confirming that trans kids know who they are and what they need to move their lives forward. My research is illustrated in the timeline diagram below;
Most trans children know they are different, gender-wise, from a very young age, even if they don’t come out for many years. I call this period Tacit Deferral, on the left of the timeline in the diagram above, it often extends right back into infancy. The problem is usually that young children don’t have the words, like ‘trans’ to fully understand themselves.
They then go through what I describe as an Epiphany; which is when they acquire this language and can start to talk about themselves as trans people. This process can take anything from a few seconds to a couple of years. Epiphany means they also realise that, if there is a word for someone like them, there must be others like them. This starts the period I call Discursive Deferral, when they talk to friends, siblings or other trans kids, sometimes online, to help them understand themselves better. It is also a time when they talk about the dangers of coming out to parents. Will I get beaten up…? Will I be disowned or abused…? Again, the Discursive Deferral period is usually measured in months or years.
So by the time they have reached the stage where they feel confident enough to come out, the ‘gender questioning’ stage is a ship that sailed years ago. They know who they are and, in almost every instance, they are not ‘gender questioning’ no matter how tentatively they may express themselves when coming out (usually to try and soften the impact).
So, when the government calls trans or non-binary children or young people ‘gender questioning’, it is as far detached from reality as it is possible to be. When it slips this phrase into official documents, it gives the strong impression of not understanding the reality of trans children.
Let’s change the ‘gender-questioning’ label
From this my personal advice to trans children and young people, and their parents – apart from having as little as possible to do with the NHS and especially its new ‘gender services’ – is to completely and persistently refuse the label ‘gender-questioning’. If you’re a trans girl you are a girl, if you’re a trans boy you are a boy, if you’re a non-binary person you are non-binary. End of. Refuse the ‘gender questioning’ label every time it gets used if it does not describe you. If you are the parent of a trans child, make sure your child’s school knows this, repeatedly if need be. Don’t let them get away with gaslighting your child.
My own published research shows that trans children have already been very significantly harmed, esepcially psychologically, by this seemingly insensitive government. From examining NHS documents and schools ‘guidance’, the only conclusion I can come to is that the government seems to be attempting to introduce a system of ubiquitous, ‘wraparound conversion therapy’; what seems to be a cruel and harmful experiment in imposing this thinly-disguised form of neglect of their mental health. Trans children will need help in resisting this conversion therapy. They are going to need every drop of support, validation, care and unconditional love they can get.
This starts with resisting ‘gender questioning’
