Dr Shanali Perera was on the road to becoming a consultant in Rheumatology. She worked in a hospital and studied hard to achieve her goal. Then the unthinkable happened. She was struck down by a rheumatological illness – vasculitis. It was one of her speciality’s diseases, and she knew exactly how devastating its effects could be.
And the effects were devastating for her. She had to give up her work, her career, her dreams. She became a patient – no longer the person who helps others, but the person who needs help.
And that meant her sense of self, her whole identity as a doctor, was shattered. She was no longer who she had been, she would never be who she had wanted to become. Just like that, she was someone else now.
The need to find a new identity
She is in constant pain, and has a body that no longer works like it used to. Someone different, someone new.
And this new person has to reinvent a sense of self. Dr Perera needs a new identity. Finding Me Beyond Illness explores how she managed that – how she learned to accept and live with her disease, to express what the disease does to her body and mind, and how she rose above the illness and pain, the disappointment and loss of control over her life, and found a new identity.
This new identity is a person with an illness, who expresses herself through digital art – and does a remarkable job of expressing her feelings and emotions this way.
Digital art became her way to express herself
She needs to use digital art apps on her phone or computer, as holding a pencil or paintbrush is too painful due to her condition. She taught herself how to use the apps she uses, and in her book Finding Me Beyond Illness she explains the road she has travelled in life from a doctor to an artist. She also shares the meanings behind some of the artworks she has produced, and what the shapes and colours mean to her. She shows us many of her artworks, and they are powerful.
Above all, this book tells the journey – from someone whose life had collapsed, to someone who has reclaimed control, and has found a way to look forward again.
Adaptive coping with digital art…also led to the rediscovery of myself.
Art can be a visual language.
The important thing is to open your mind and give yourself the freedom to say what you want to say.
Achieving synergy involved integrating my illness self and my old self…so that I become someone new.
You gave me hope
When there was none,
You believed in me at times
When I did not,
You are always with me.
All pictures are from the book Finding Me Beyond Illness by Dr Shanali Perera, permission to use them given to NWB by the publisher
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